My partner was raised on a diet reflecting his family’s cultural mix. While not excluding any type of food, it centered around meat, vegetables and lentils. For him, comfort foods are soups, stews and other savoury dishes. It’s challenging -and often frustrating- for him to live in an environment that relies on products so refined, with nutrients, textures and natural flavours stripped. He naturally steers clear of pasta and craves the depth of taste that comes from whole foods. He’s put off by a sweet breakfast such as pancakes -viewing these as more of a late afternoon snack- hankering instead for a savoury, grounding opening meal of meat and vegetables. Part of me envies that he has always had such an affinity for savoury foods, while I spent my first thirty-six years repulsed by the same and only through desperation and effort developed it!

Were his grandparents and parents aware of what deep service they were providing his body and soul, by setting aside the conventions of their new location and holding steady in their food traditions? My own father was raised with a similar diet, but gave it up when one after another, each of his many children refused to eat well. With sadness -and, I imagine, the incredible fatigue that can come with raising so many strong-willed children- my dad resigned himself to feeding us only what we would readily eat: white flour, sugar, fruit, and cheese. Unaware of the direct relationship between food and vitality, he watched in wonder and confusion as so many of us succumbed in our teens or adulthood to chronic illness.

I think about the three kids my partner and I support. I imagine ahead to their adulthood. Spending time in a variety of environments, and exposed to a range of foods and non-foods, what will their “go to” dishes be? Will they jones for the sugar rush and/or the insulin crash like I did for all those years? Or will they hold a body memory of the incredible peace, joy and groundedness that swells through a person upon ingestion of a nutrient-dense meal? My hope is that their experience will be akin to that of my partner’s: in the most stressful or wearying moments, a recalling of and movement toward the nutrient-dense dishes that sustain our hearts, our minds, our souls, our bodies; and a knowing that a desperate “jonesing” need not be part of one’s experience.

In the process, I may have developed my strangest breakfast to date! A cup of whole fat goat kefir and two raw eggs chasing a medly of brains, liver, heart, spleen and more. (If you’re new to GAPS, the concept of soup as one’s morning meal may suddenly seem not as bizarre as you’d once thought, yes?) My breakfast seems extreme -to the point of making me laugh- even to this GAPS veteran, but it truly sets me on an excellent track for the day. With a solid dose of ferments, protein, fat, vitamins and minerals in my tummy, I’m good to go. (Note: If I plan on physical play, ie. exercise, in a morning, I start the day with a higher fat ratio -usually cheddar chunks slathered in butter, paired with sauerkraut- and save the protein for immediately following the workout.)

The brains? I’m experimenting with Dr Ron’s Ultra-Pure Organ Delight. The freeze-dried organs and glands provide raw substances in an easy-to-ingest form. My usual, lower-cost approach to organs is to freeze raw liver for fourteen days then use an apple peeler to scrape thin slices off.

How have your breakfasts changed since starting GAPS? Let us know in the comments section below.

And that was the meal. Sure, usually a dish here is more involved -but often not much! Just because GAPS meals have the potential to be fancy and beautiful, doesn’t mean they have to be. Give yourself a break -not just once in awhile, but regularly. Get some basic nutrition in then go play!

Often, we start out in GAPS wanting to prove to our kids and to the people around us that GAPS can be every bit as layered and delicious as non-GAPS foods. Once that’s out of the way, we can sit back and breathe, aiming simply for nutrition and relaxation -which is all that’s actually needed for health.

Note: The first step to this week’s simplicity was to buy the chicken from Whole Foods already roasted. This is a new-to-me luxury, giving this working, homeschooling, single parent much needed respite once a week or so. We first used some of it in a stew, and when my small caveman was done with the second half of its meat, I threw the little that remained -bones, joints, etc- into a small pot with a splash of Apple Cider Vinegar, plus water to cover it, and set it to simmer. So much nutrition, so little effort! Also of note is that for his bedtime snack, my son chose a medley of veggies -both cooked and raw. The body will balance the day’s need over the course of a day or so.

After another round of experimentation once again proved the necessity of a more focused diet, my son has returned very happily to strict (albeit advanced) GAPS with the exception of any non-GAPS serving of his choice each Tuesday. It’s amazing how easily he now transitions back to this!

Tuesday’s single serving of non-GAPS brings him no adverse affects that we can see, and gives him all the opportunity he needs to “fit in”, etc. It also completely eliminates requests for anything non-GAPS any other day or time, which gives me mental space and eases our relationship. Essentially, the exception serves as a very effective psychological boundary for him, bringing him peace and joy not only on Tuesdays but throughout the entire week. This is working very well for us. [ETA: In the comments section below, Jennifer notes that she is now adapting this idea to include within a specific schedule some GAPS foods which her daughter is still a bit sensitive to. I realize that's what I did with my son from early on -for us this was almond flour- and totally support this! One might also apply this same strategy to GAPS foods which are simply advanced beyond one's current stage.]

Our ideal food list currently looks something like the following. For details, please see the additional notes at the bottom of the post. Now, whenever I attempt to make a detailed list of anything, comments from readers -or further observation- result in my editing for further accuracy or clarity, so please do check back here regularly over the next while.

Daily/Freely

Meats, Fish, Organs, Skins, Marrow, Broth of Meat/Bones

Pastured, organic

Fats

Butter*/Ghee
Coconut Oil*
Fat from inside any animal (cooked, bottled, etc)*
Oil* of any vegetable, nut, seed (generally coconut, fish; occasionally grapeseed, olive; rarely anything else)

Eggs

Fermented Vegetables

Raw or Cooked:

Artichoke, French
Asparagus
Beets or beetroot
Black radish
Bok Choy
Broccoli
Brussels sprouts
Cabbage
Capers
Carrots
Cauliflower
Celery
Collard greens
Cucumber
Eggplant
Garlic
Ginger Root
Kale
Lettuce, all kinds
Mushrooms
Olives, preserved without sugar
Onions
Parsley
Peas
Peppers – Bell/Sweet, Hot, etc
Spinach
String Beans
Tomatoes
Zucchini

Fruit & Berries – Whole or Dried, Very Ripe – One Serving

Herbs, Spices (Single or Mixed From Frontier Brand), Salt*

Herbal Teas (any, preferably with no non-GAPS ingredients)*

Apple Cider Vinegar*

2-3x Week or Less

Cocoa Powder, Raw*

Coffee or Black Tea* (me only; not my son)

Fermented Dairy

Homemade Dairy Kefir

Aged Cheeses* – Asiago, Blue, Brick, Brie, Camembert, Cheddar, Colby, Edam, Gorgonzola, Gouda, Havarti, Limburger, Monterey Jack, Muenster, Parmesan, Port du Salut, Roquefort, Stilton, Swiss, Romano

Uncreamed (dry curd) cottage cheese*

Homemade (24 hr) Yogurt

Honey (1-2 tablespoons)*

Nuts & Seeds – Preferably Soaked – Whole, Butter*, Ground/Flour*

1x Week Or Less

Avocado

Coconut* – Meat (Whole or Dried), Milk, Water

Kombucha*

Lentils – Fermented

Nuts & Seeds – Preferably Soaked – Whole, Butter*, Ground/Flour*

Orange Squash (small amounts)

For my son, one serving of any non-GAPS food of his choice

1x Month or Less

Alcoholic Beverage (preferably a GAPS one, though others also okay)*

RW Knudsen (Non-Alcoholic) Spritzer*

Commercially Processed Items Used

Although all of the following can be made at home, for reasons of time, energy, cost or (low) frequency of use, I use some quality commercial products which seem, upon testing and observation, just fine for our bodies. Some of the following -for example, a tiny can of tomato paste-  I use once every week or two, never making the homemade version. Others -for example, Bubbies Sauerkraut- I purchase and use intermittently, in tandem with homemade versions.

All items marked with * above (except for the occasionally home-processed coconut)

Bubbies Pickles

Bubbies Sauerkraut

Canned salmon and canned tuna in water with or without salt

Cheese

Crofter’s Fruit Juice Sweetened (no sugar) Jam

GT’s Kombucha

Larabars (except the chocolate chip one)

Tomato Paste (tomatoes, salt)

Turkey Pepperoni and Sausages made locally, GAPS ingredients only

Vanilla, Orchid Brand

GAPS Foods Not Used

Although I love the taste and texture, I still cannot physically tolerate celeriac.

We still have not tried dried navy beans, lima beans, split peas, turnips, watercress. The first four because I’m not really interested in them, the watercress because it’s never occurred to me!

Note

The bulk of our diet is meat, fat, eggs, then veggies, then ferments, then everything else quite minimally. Ratios and frequencies are determined by our bodies as opposed to by “rules” or concepts. For example, while kefir and avocado might be fine to have daily -and indeed our bodies did, especially during intensive healing phases, request this- our bodies currently request these less often. This is not a reflection on the quality and wonderfulness and health of the food, but rather on our own bodies’current needs.

During the support session, one young participant shared that she had newly received diagnoses of both multiple sclerosis and rheumatoid arthritis. She expressed her aggravation with so many years of depression and pain, of being disbelieved by family members and of being unable to work. She spoke of her fear for her future. Another said she had a severe form of PMS called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), and also that she had very recently miscarried. She wept as she spoke about the latter. A third woman had relatively recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and has experienced the loss of some of her favourite activities -activities she has devoted so much of her life to; activities she found so much joy and strength in- as a result of the pain.

The group structure is such that each participant is very limited in whether we can respond at all and, if permitted to do so, with what type of content. Later, in my personal debriefing of the meeting, my partner wondered aloud how I managed to sit quietly while hearing about all these issues I know to be greatly helped or resolved through diet, not to mention while witnessing the facilitator counselling each to look on the bright side and “come back next week smiling”. I felt very triggered by the facilitator’s incredible dismissiveness of each woman’s emotions. Now, anyone who has read GAPS Guide knows that I’m all for using our circumstances to motivate oneself toward healing ourselves and others. However, I also believe strongly in honouring our own paths and timing, our genuine humanity, and the very real emotions that come with suffering and loss. So yes, it was very difficult for me to sit quietly. I deeply wanted two things for each of these women: one, the honouring of their experience and feelings; two, an introduction to GAPS. I did what I could to provide both, while at the same time aiming not to impose ‘solutions’during a grief period. In one case, I ultimately shared that I too had once been unable to hold my own arms above my head long enough to even shampoo my own hair, that my prognosis was death, and that I was (obviously) now well, inviting the woman to approach me later if she wanted more information. With another, I merely acknowledged her tremendous loss and my hope that she allow herself to grieve fully. Basically, I set out what I could in what I hope was a balanced way that recognized what each woman was actually asking for and what she needed in that particular moment or hour, while pushing no specific agenda.

When we witness anguish, many of us desperately want to help. We wish there was something we could do. In some cases, there is little or nothing we can, on a practical level, offer. This was what I had to acknowledge to myself during the search for little Kienen, and what I have to acknowledge to myself as people continue to struggle with the loss of a parent, friend, sibling or child as a result of 9-11 and other acts of terror and war around the world. But when I hear people speak of illnesses that are devastating both their lives and their sense of hope, an energy surges inside me. I know there’s something I can do. I can share information about GAPS. At the same time, I’ve learned I need to broach the topic gently and compassionately, and often compassion means being quiet, listening… waiting until a person moves out of their shock and grief stage and, in their own time, says, “I’m ready to do something about this…” In the meantime, I can live an example of health, share my own story of physical and mental debilitation then recovery, and keep posting to this blog. (If you, too, crave to get word out, I share some tips for that on this page. We just don’t know when we tweet -or hand a card out- what life will be changed as a result.)

This week, as every week, people throughout the world struggle because of war, terror, abuse, illness, poverty, inequitable distribution of food, loss of family members, and more. My heart is with all of us.

First, I’d like to touch on the topic of ‘repeating the experiment’. To clarify, I don’t actually repeat it. Each round involves a new approach. Does this food affect my son or I? What about in this climate or season? What about at this time of day? What about at this frequency? What about with these base foods included daily? Of note, I don’t consider this process ‘going astray’. That sounds more passive to me than what we do, which is: make very conscious choices about foods, watch the results, report the journey, make a new choice about food, watch the results, report the journey. In the reporting aspect, I sometimes wonder if reading the whole journey will be difficult for some readers, especially those just starting out. I really believe, though, that ultimately an honest and full presentation of all variables serves readers more than a limited presentation of ‘initial protocol’does.

All of the above noted, following are my reasons for continuing our experiment with diet:

1. GAPS is a temporary, healing, transitional program. While some people might choose to do strict GAPS for their entire lives -and those starting GAPS later in life may well need to do so in order to keep symptoms at bay- for most people, after the intensive healing period is complete it is fine to try different foods. Except for the matter of the slippery slope, there is no reason for a person not to try other foods, observing the results. In fact, post-healing some have found even further improvement in adding, for example, limited amounts of starches such as quinoa. Observe to see how often your body can and cannot tolerate a given food, then draw frequency back to a point of true body joy. In a worst case scenario, a food reaction would prompt you to return to intro for a few days and/or to strict full GAPS for several months before your next trial. Personally, I have always been very interested in finding the dietary approach that is most ideal for my son at each given stage of his life, as opposed to sticking with one stage of one protocol for all his years.

2. Nearing age seven, my son is now out of my care many hours each week. A very social boy, he spends time with various relatives, in school and/or community programs, at birthday parties without me, etc. This is a new life-stage for him. While I have always been and still am utterly enthusiastic about and committed to providing him with a solid foundation of health, I have no interest in restricting his experiences more than necessary. For me, GAPS is not primarily an action in, say, counter-culture nor is it a religion. It’s simply a fabulous, transitional healing tool. For me, providing my son with a life I see as balanced is important.

Throughout these years of blogging, I’ve noted that while an adult can choose to control their own diet, as well as that of a very young child, they cannot do so with a child old enough to access other foods. While we do see some children between the ages of nine and eighteen choosing the program for themselves, with excellent results, we also see many who choose ‘social norms’first. I’ve always said to these parents, “Offer GAPS at home, and know that every bit of good food you can get into them will help. Hopefully they will choose the diet when they become adults and ready to heal.” My son experienced 2.5 years on strict gaps and was absolutely stellar about the choice I was making for the two of us. I’m so grateful that we found the program when he was so young because I’m aware of the different challenges that can come up if an older child chooses ‘fitting in’or ‘relieving immediate cravings’over healing.

3. Like most parents, I aim for an open, honest, true relationship with my child. This means he needs to be able to speak freely with me about his curiousities and choices. I’m aware that many seven year olds want to be “normal” (and this social piece is in itself an awesome -albeit ironic- sign of my son’s healing), thus they want to do things like eat potato chips if everyone else is. I want my son to be able to be honest with me about that, and not have to hide or lie about some of what he gets up to. Primarily this is so we can have real relationship, but in this example it also serves in that, duly informed, I can help my son balance the outcomes, for example by offering him a detox bath. Again, having invested two and a half years in healing his gut, my sense is that diet can now start taking a slightly less prominent role in my son’s ‘bigger picture’.

4. Over time, my son will be less and less in my ‘control’and even influence. It’s important to me to use this period to teach him about the effects and value of healthy food in a way that he could not have understood when we started the program at his age three. Now, when he observes behavioural or physical changes in himself, I say gently, “Oh yes, I get stuff like that too sometimes… I especially notice them in me when I eat a lot of non-GAPS stuff.” I watch him thinking about this then choosing more GAPS foods and observing in himself the effects of those, too. (My son is very smart, observant, intuitive, and able to see relationships between variables and outcomes.)

5. My son newly has two ‘sort of step-siblings’, relationships which prove almost as healing for him as food does, who eat non-GAPS. At this stage in his relationship with them and their dad, it feels very important to my son to be just like them, to share life with them exactly as is. This shows up in many areas, and food is one of them. During this stage, he is eating some non-GAPS food with them, just as they are -yay!- eating some GAPS food with him. As we all spend increasing amounts of time together, my partner and I are actively developing a menu which serves all the children equally, ie. a list of GAPS dishes which all three children love, from which they can collectively request that day’s meals.

In closing, I believe wholeheartedly that people can heal, experience a setback through stress, dietary changes, illness, etc, then heal again. Ultimately, my recommendations are this: When healing is necessary, go for it! The necessity to heal must override issues like age, a craving to be ‘socially normal’, access to school or daycare, schedules, issues involved in blending families, etc. But after the intensive healing, I personally would choose to incorporate as many other options for my son as possible. For him, this means a larger family, increased independence from his mother, increased choice, the opportunity to personally and directly observe cause and effect in his own life, etc. Healing a gut can demand close attention to food for a good two years; subsequent, overall healing can also involve so much more.

1. Google the words GAPS along with the name of your region. You may find a group already existing or a local-to-you blogger you can make your first live connection with.

2. Search meetup.com, Craigslist, etc, for people promoting GAPS, SCD, paleo or primal groups. All these lifestyles overlap enough that we can share energy and knowledge with each other.

3. Publicize your interest via meetup.com, Craigslist, the free ‘community calender’section of your local newspaper, a poster on the bulletin board at your local health food store, naturopath’s office, etc. I really like meetup.com because it allows each participant the safety of connecting without having to reveal full names, address, etc, while also making it easy to schedule or reschedule an event, find out how many plan to come, etc. As meetup.com charges the organizer a small monthly fee, feel free to ask members to contribute a twoonie at each meeting. Consider including in the group name words like “paleo”, “primal”, “SCD” as well as “GAPS”.

4. Consider making a ‘business card’with your group website or contact information on it. Hand this out when at playgrounds, autism centers, etc, when you find yourself chatting casually with other interested people about the program.

5. On one or more of the GAPS/SCD Yahoo groups, type the name of your region into the subject line. (Few list participants have time to read all posts; naming their region in the subject line can help catch your neighbour’s attention.) In the body of the email, direct them to your meetup group, your email address, or whatever other method of contact you prefer.

Through the above approaches, you may meet just one other person, and you may meet several. Even just one live contact can make a world of difference, such as when one dear woman brought me gelled broth very early in my journey. A second set of ears and eyes can be a boon when checking for whole food sources, bones, etc. Two people can have a lot of fun, not to mention make work light, by spending an afternoon together each week cooking large batches of food. If even more people connect, the options increase! Potlucks, inviting a naturopath or farmer in to speak, bulk (discounted) purchases of the GAPS Guide book, meat, etc.

You’ve tried all of the above and met no one local? Fear not. The GAPS community offers a phone pool, two email lists specific to GAPS, and more. For details on these and more, please click here.

New! Acronyms Used On This Site

Thanks to a suggestion by Vonnie, I’ve now started building a new page on the site, one to breakdown the acronyms commonly used on this site (including in the comments). See http://gapsguide.com/about/acronyms/

GAPS and similar programs resolve blood sugar imbalances. Intro’s focus on meat, fats and veggies does wonders for many. If blood sugar is an issue for you, be sure to eat fat and protein as often as necessary (ie. to feel good): upon waking, every hour or so throughout the day, before bed. Sipping an electrolyte drink throughout the day can also help. These measures support the body while it sorts everything out for longer term balance, at which point a few fatty, protein-rich, low sugar meals each day will do the trick.

For one more tip around blood sugar, including in relation to addiction, click under ‘Addiction’at Dr Natasha’s FAQ age here.

I’ve managed to process (‘approve’) comments daily, though, and once I get that initial read in, I do ponder the questions while I’m booting around with other activities, so by the time I get a chance to respond, I’m ready!  This evening has been my first opportunity to write those thoughts down, and I’ve been plugging away at it. Please check out the various posts of interest to you for continued discussion. I do have a few comments to respond to yet and will do so ‘ASAP’.

In the meantime, I wanted to check in with you all about how you did with the thirty day “laughter” challenge, which wraps up today. I’m happy to say that during all of this past week’s craziness, I managed to stay very positive and calm, thanks in large part to keeping this commitment! Every day I very intentionally took time to simply laugh!

An unexpected outcome of this challenge was that I started noticing throughout the course of each day which activities and thoughts had the effect of ‘contracting’my gut and which had the effect of loosening/softening/expanding it. I learned that driving within the congested city and wanting my son to behave differently, for examples, resulted in my belly clenching, while sitting in the sun holding my boy or making a simple, creative dish opened it. I believe that the contraction/expansion I feel in the belly area must impact my digestion. I’m grateful that over the past twenty years, through counselling, diet, boundary work, and self-care, my belly spends increasingly less time tightening and more time opening. How about yours?

My chiropractor said diet is number one. That’s right. Now, this is a man clearly passionate about his field and truly excited about the results of chiropractic in his clients. And yet, his belief remains that diet is the number one influence over health, with chiropractic able to complement this, or to assist temporarily where excellent digestion is not pursued.

Imagine my delight when I happened to read, just a few days later, an article in which therapist Harville Hendrix who, extraordinarily famous internationally for twenty years of work in relationships, noted a similar phenomenon in his field!

Is it possible that some of the conflict between partners could be diet related? From my research so far, it seems so. Could a change in diet reduce irritability and contribute to a couple’s sense of well being? I am beginning to think so, so much in fact that in my initial interview with couples I have started asking them what they eat.

In response to that article, a woman named Rosie writes:

Many years ago my husband were experiencing great tensions within our relationship. [...] The greatest change in our relationship however has occurred recently over the past 3 years. This has come about as I have made radical changes to the way I eat which have also been taken up by the family. You spoke of detox and the importance of good eating and nutrition. I endorse this whole heartedly!!!!! I have taken sugar and flour out of my diet, besides a 17 kg weight loss I have experienced the most profound changes in my moods and negative thinking. I have discovered I am actually a very positive person and full of energy and vitality. I feel so much younger and alive and can concentrate better. My husband and I have been together for some 30 years the best of these being the past 3 and a half. [...] I am writing to agree with the sentiment that nutrition is a vital key in our lives and can profoundly affect our relationships.

Dr Hendrix’s finding, not to mention Rosie’s results, does not surprise me one iota: Countless people doing GAPS have found the following personal -thus relational- changes: calmer demeanor, quieter mind, increased patience, more mental and emotional clarity, increased sex drive or responsiveness, more laughter, broader perspective, a renewed mental and emotional capacity to learn new approaches, reduced self-consciousness, increased energy for pure fun. I know all of this and more has been the case for me.

If your relationship with a partner, child or even colleague is struggling, you have one more reason to reach for -and serve- grated cauliflower in place of rice!

*

Did you start intro with us April 11th? Did you find success then start to struggle again? If you’ve adhered to the program carefully including in terms of a slow and methodical introduction of all foods- and find this is the case, you may be experiencing the very common ‘unexplained relapse’. For details, please review page 92 of GAPS Guide.