Often the term “comfort foods” is used to describe specific dishes. My sense, though, is that “comfort foods” are not universal but, rather, specific to each of us and related to what we received as children.
My partner was raised on a diet reflecting his family’s cultural mix. While not excluding any type of food, it centered around meat, vegetables and lentils. For him, comfort foods are soups, stews and other savoury dishes. It’s challenging -and often frustrating- for him to live in an environment that relies on products so refined, with nutrients, textures and natural flavours stripped. He naturally steers clear of pasta and craves the depth of taste that comes from whole foods. He’s put off by a sweet breakfast such as pancakes -viewing these as more of a late afternoon snack- hankering instead for a savoury, grounding opening meal of meat and vegetables. Part of me envies that he has always had such an affinity for savoury foods, while I spent my first thirty-six years repulsed by the same and only through desperation and effort developed it!
Were his grandparents and parents aware of what deep service they were providing his body and soul, by setting aside the conventions of their new location and holding steady in their food traditions? My own father was raised with a similar diet, but gave it up when one after another, each of his many children refused to eat well. With sadness -and, I imagine, the incredible fatigue that can come with raising so many strong-willed children- my dad resigned himself to feeding us only what we would readily eat: white flour, sugar, fruit, and cheese. Unaware of the direct relationship between food and vitality, he watched in wonder and confusion as so many of us succumbed in our teens or adulthood to chronic illness.
I think about the three kids my partner and I support. I imagine ahead to their adulthood. Spending time in a variety of environments, and exposed to a range of foods and non-foods, what will their “go to” dishes be? Will they jones for the sugar rush and/or the insulin crash like I did for all those years? Or will they hold a body memory of the incredible peace, joy and groundedness that swells through a person upon ingestion of a nutrient-dense meal? My hope is that their experience will be akin to that of my partner’s: in the most stressful or wearying moments, a recalling of and movement toward the nutrient-dense dishes that sustain our hearts, our minds, our souls, our bodies; and a knowing that a desperate “jonesing” need not be part of one’s experience.
Love this post. Thanks for sharing Baden. I notice my comfort foods are changing as I pursue this way of eating longer. It used to be doughnuts or a brownie which I honestly no longer have any desire for. Now I love a good bowl of chicken vegetable soup or a pumpkin muffin made with almond flour. Your children are fortunate you are giving them this sound foundation. They may waver at some point but I am confident they will return to it since it feels good on so many levels.
So good to hear from you, Monique!!
All my best,
Baden
Great post!
“With sadness -and, I imagine, the incredible fatigue that can come with raising so many strong-willed children- my dad resigned himself to feeding us only what we would readily eat: white flour, sugar, fruit, and cheese.”
This is what I’m dealing with right now, as my younger daughter fills up between meals on honey, yogurt, fruit and nuts. I know these aren’t the worst foods in the world, but I really want to get more savory, fatty, easily assimilated, nutrient dense foods into her. It seems every time I turn my back she’s back in the kitchen, making herself a little sweet snack. I guess I just need to banish those foods from the home until the kids are eating to fill up at dinner and can be trusted to use the nuts and fruits as an occassional treat. It is fatiguing dealing with this! I am tired of having battles about food and I’m tired of being in charge of all the food. Oh, well, this is too important to give in and give up on.
Hi Sandi,
So glad this post resonated with you!
Although my son adores stews, etc, he too will happily go for honey and fruit whenever I let him. For him, what has worked well is setting a weekly schedule. He’s literally allowed “nut butter and honey on Wednesday; one banana on Thursday; a can of tuna [limited because of mercury] on Friday”. These are what he jones for, and by building a schedule of “treats”, he is able to moderate himself without endless (exhausting) discussion.
This said, I totally agree with your idea to banish these from the home until everyone is easily and regularly relying on savoury dishes. This can be the fastest route to changing this piece!
All my best,
Baden
I totally resonate with this! My comfort foods have completely changed over the years and now I find myself craving, roast chicken skin, buttered peas, beef stock, fresh crab, a boiled egg and butter and not the carby cake treats of years gone by.
I still bake almond flour muffins – my latest were a heady mixture of almond, ground roast hazels, vanilla seeds and medjool dates, reminiscent of the flavours of Italian Nocciolini biscuits. But I hardly sweeten them and find that I don’t get that urge to binge on them when I need comfort either.
Finn’s comfort food is a bowl of omelette strips with homemade pesto, or some grilled sprats and coleslaw. He has chocolate, but it’s a couple of squares a day of 90% cocoa content stuff, savoured well. His palate is fantastic and I hope he carries it into adulthood.
x x x
Always so good to hear from you, Naomi!
All my best,
Baden
If your parents were living in the US….that explains why they so readily let go of older traditions… as did mine and most others. Our parents were not less knowing. Their were billions being spent to teach them differently. Billions being spent to fund bogus studies to sell them products to replace food. I think they succumbed only because they felt they were doing right by their children and giving them better than they themselves had known.
When Nestle enters a third world, culturally rich country…they never meet with resistance. The parents are eager for this new ‘super food’. The people are not any ‘wiser’ than the parents that have already bought into the system.
Hi CJ,
I think with my dad it was a mix of things, including that of which you speak. Before becoming a father, my dad started enjoying some of Canada’s “modern” foods, which destroyed his perfect teeth. At the same time, he did still see much value and enjoyment in the meat, vegetables, sauerkraut, etc, that he’d grown up on and was very sad when we each refused to eat any of it. So, part of it was the result of marketing and some was the result of having kids who, probably through unrecognized gut dysbiosis, refused to eat any of what he knew to be life-giving. As a farmer and chef, the sadness for him was all too present.
I always so love your thought-provoking comments!
All my best,
Baden
‘Their’ is obviously incorrect. I sent before I corrected spelling. There were billions being spent…..:)
Yet many people eating traditional food do not have to eliminate grains or other non Gaps food. This of course if their environment has not been polluted, if their family links have not been broken by violence, if community and sharing have not been violated. Food is an important piece of the puzzle, but comfort should always come from something else. In my traditional culture there is not a word for comfort food. Food is just what it is, fuel for the body, it should not be so important in our life. And yet I find myself spending so much time thinking about food, praying to digest it, hoping one day I can have a normal elimination. I hope that future generations will not have to devote so much time to heal their food and their bodies and can enjoy true comfort from situations and from people. I notice for instance that in more joyful settings – unfortunately not so frequent for me – digestion is not as much of a struggle. As Baden always writes, diet alone is not enough.
Jo
So well said, Jo!! Wonderful thoughts!
All my best,
Baden
What a great post and how timely. Now that our (outside) temperatures have dropped to minus 30 degrees (celsius) it has been easy to find comfort in the soups and stews that are the staple of this diet.
I wanted to introduce beans recently (comfort food to add to the stew) and although followed NCM’s instructions for soaking (12 hours and rinsing) and fermenting with whey (5 – 6 days 1/2 cup whey in 1 litre of water) they smelled awful to the point where I didn’t trust adding them to the stew pot. I posted on the yahoo group and did not get much feedback, and tried a few other places to no avail.
I checked your book first, but could not find additional instructions on this (for the next edition, please consider an index
). Where did I go wrong? It was suggested to add salt to the fermenting process, which is not mentioned in NCM’s book. Another site said to only ferment/soak for 12 hours, which doesn’t seem to fit in with NCM’s instructions.
Still so much to learn and it seems like such an uphill process.
As always, thank you for your insight.
Micaele
Hi Micaele,
You are so wise to have followed your nose! When something smells bad, you are right to not use it. We don’t know why, but every once in awhile someone will just get a bad batch. This can happen with any food and process (fermentation, cooking, etc). This said…
One of the support group members once received clarification from Dr Natasha on this. The key points were:
-soak beans 24 hours, drain, rinse, add fresh water and culture (whey; kefir)
-similar to making fermented veggies, if a warmer environment, soak just two days; if cooler, soak 3-5 days
-drain, rinse, cook
I so hear you about an index! Thank you for the suggestion.
Yes, the learning curve is very challenging, but you’re quite on top of things and it will get easier as time goes on!
All my best,
Baden
I find myself filled with sadness as entire cultures are “modernizing” and moving away from traditional diets in favor of cheap, processed foods. My in-laws were raised in a village in Palestine, which I thought would have been a good place to grow up, food wise, only to find out that even my mother-in-law, 63, grew up eating SHORTENING with sugar and pita bread as a snack. We eat lots of stews and soups, but over a pile of rice, or between 1-3 pieces of pita bread. They rarely used butter or ghee, and they actually raised a couple of goats at one point. Speaking of comfort foods, does anyone know if lupini beans are gaps legal or not?
Hi Baden,
I too like to imagine what my daughter will carry forward into her life with this food foundation we are so intently building for her. She is 2.5 now and the other day my husband and I were discussing pizza and pasta for some reason and she asked what that was and we wondered how many 2.5 year old American kids have never heard of pizza or pasta before! I love the thrill that simple foods like blueberries and avocados can bring for her!
~Annie
Annie: Yes! …I drafted a longer, blethering response, but you’ve said it so perfectly!
All my best,
Baden