GAPS Guide

My son turned five recently. Due to the huge developmental delay suffered during gut dysbiosis, I started him this year only in preschool for four year olds. Last Friday, they were to make personal gingerbread houses. I struggled with this. I was uncertain about sending my son to school that day. The simplest thing would be to keep him at home for the one Friday. My son loves school, though, and as his sole parent I rely on the break.

Our first obstacle was that we were to each bring an emptied mini-carton of conventional milk. I resented having to make this a special purchase. The teacher suggested to the group of parents and children that if we don’t normally have these, we go to McDonald’s for a happy meal. Argh. I opted to purchase the mini-carton at the grocery store and gave it to the school to empty out.

The school needed a handful of parents to stay and help out and I wondered if my staying might be the best compromise for this situation. Again, though, I really do rely on that break. I also realized that, my son being five years old, and on SCD then GAPS for two full years now, and fully aware of what he can and cannot eat, it was time to let him go. So I did.

On our twenty minute walk to school, I said, “Today you will be making gingerbread houses. Do you eat the gingerbread or the candy?” He laughed and said, in a tone as though I was very, very silly, “Noooo..!” He seems to find the idea of eating candy quite ludicrous. I realized we both tend to view them now as toys, as edible as a plastic giraffe.

At the school, I reminded the teachers that he was not to eat any of it, nor to make hand to mouth contact while building it. They asked, “If that happens, will he collapse?” I said, “No, he’s not anaphylactic so that won’t happen. I don’t actually know if anything would happen at this point, it’s been so long since he’s been exposed. Worst case scenario is that we have the weekend from hell and I’d really rather we don’t.” The teacher assured me. A parent that I know really cares for my kid, and who is aware of the importance of his diet, was staying for the class and that was reassuring. I took a deep breath and walked out.

Two and a half hours later, I returned to a very happy child, a gorgeous gingerbread house to take home, and cupfuls of candies gifted to him by classmates. The teachers said my son was great about it, that all he cared about was that he could put “lots and lots” of candies on his house. The parent mentioned earlier said another dad asked the kids at his table, “Are you guys eating all the candy?” And in the midst of the other kids’voices yelping, “Yeah!” was my own son’s hearty, confident laugh, “No, I don’t eat those!”

We carried the house and gifts home oh so carefully. We set the gingerbread house out where our whole strata complex could enjoy it. As for his big cup of candies, I asked him if he would like to take it around the strata and offer people the contents. He said, “No, that wouldn’t make me happy. I’m hungry.” I said, “Oh, you’re hungry. Okay, let’s feed you. Would you like to offer out your candies after that?” He affirmed this.

I’m not always so methodical. Two weeks ago, he came home with four cupcakes. I left them sitting on the table for a day (as he likes me to do) then, when I noticed I was tempted to taste one, I threw them out. My son likes to keep the gifts he receives. He doesn’t want to taste them (nor even really look at them), he just wants to keep them. Well and good so long as neither of us are tempted to eat them. Overall I try to balance his desire to hold on to gifts and the clarity of our home.